Many of us think Loyalty is a value that is important in life – especially for love, marriage, and all sort of relationship. Loyalty is something that grows within a relationship. Loyalty is a choice made by a person, consciously. This is true to love & marriage relationship, also just as much as it is true to branding & organization.
Loyalty is normally built from having a constant mutual benefits from something. Read the word; constant. A brand that has a good customer service, great quality of product usually has loyal followers. Just as much as a relationship where two people choose to nourish the relationship with constant attention and affection.
The extreme opposite of Loyalty, is betrayal. A consumer expected a certain level of care & attention from a brand when the product appears to be defective, where the customer service somehow did not meet their expectation, felt betrayed especially if it is a brand the consumer has supported for awhile. The same goes to two people in a relationship, that is when cheating comes into play.
Now to build my case and because I like the topic on ‘people’, let’s look into relationship. When we talk about loyalty in a relationship, it normally correlates to being off the grid. Off the grid, physically or emotionally. If you read the word constant just now, it is what affects the choice of a person to stay loyal or otherwise.
My question to Loyalty is; what factors actually affects a person to stay loyal, and what causes them to choose to be otherwise?
Now let’s put it into context, especially to fit the idea of this century where a lady and a gentleman both has a goal to pursue (most of the time career related). Say a couple who are living together named Kara & Hanson. Kara has a professional career which requires her to be outstation every 2 weeks in an isolated area, which means away from home while the other 2 weeks free from work and earns at least $9000 monthly. Hanson too has a professional career where it follows office hours 9-5, Mon-Fri and is seasonally time consuming which means working extra hours for own initiative of excellence in deliveries and he earns roughly $8000.
Unconventional relationship would be the new norm to our current generation. However the other question is, are the mindset of the people in our generation ready for unconventional relationship like this? Does it affect the loyalty aspect of it? Do gender play role in this? If we were to switch the person’s gender with the career requirement mentioned, would it give a different result to the relationship? If Hanson was in Kara’s role & vice versa, does loyalty be at the verge of jeopardy or it will be stronger instead?
Now, Kara being Off The Grid physically every 2 weeks, for loyalty to take the driver seat, both Kara & Hanson have to be constantly nurturing each other through the only mode they have, via technology. When Kara is back for 2 weeks completely free from work, she has to be understanding enough that it could be the busy season for Hanson.
How does Loyalty take driver’s seat? It goes that both of them have to compromise in terms of time & attention. Learn to understand the limitation is not them, it is the job or the circumstances they are in, which is temporary. They need to choose to focus on making it work. Instead of temporary or instant gratification outside of their relationship. Also knowing that they need to keep things alive, constantly even if it means they need to schedule a date together in a week or two, at least. Share the things they experience with each other on daily basis, instead of a colleague or someone outside. Keep their problems to be solved within their relationship, instead of dragging outsiders to help make the call – unless the third person is their relationship psychiatrist, no one should be influencing their decision making.
When one of the two choose to give up either one of the effort mentioned above, that’s when betrayal seeps in. Personally I feel the factor affecting it is definitely the circumstances they are presented with versus the personal choice. What do you think? Have you faced something similar? What did you do & what was the outcome?
Infinitely curious, IC.